The best time to get it right in marriage is now that you’re still single. You cannot change much of anything once the marriage is concluded. Now it’s the right time to be honest with yourself. You don’t want to become a prayer point for members of your church in the future. God forbid. So if you must get it right and enjoy marriage the way God wants it for you, avoid the following dangers:
Common Dangers to Avoid Before You Marry
1. Having a Romantic Partner or Sex before Marriage
Many single Christians complain of how difficult it is to live without someone to call their lover. The desire to go into a romantic relationship is often strong for the young and single. It’s not their fault; it”s nature speaking. But look at it this way: if you are a single Christian who believes in the power of God, don’t you think God can make you different from others? That’s actually why you are called a believer. You believe in God’s power to make all things possible.
It is unchristian to think that no one can live without a romantic partner. You probably got that idea from worldly friends, ungodly movies, or unbelieving neighbors. It’s also possible that you use Adam and Eve as examples that since God saw the need to create a woman for Adam, everyone needs someone to love.
Adam was a grown man, and God knew that Adam had reached the age of marriage, so He created Eve. Some young people even hold the idea that if they don’t t practice some sexual acts, they may lose their sexual skills and become useless in bed when they eventually marry. These ideas have destroyed the promising future of many good church boys and girls.
Don’t buy the idea of “No one can stay without a romantic partner.” The thing is that one day, you will be ashamed of the things you allowed your mind and body to push you to do while single. While everyone has a story to tell, yours would be too bitter to talk about to the point that you cry whenever you remember the past. God forbid it for you. Learn to stay away from the wrong mindset. Your parents and family love should be sufficient for you. When the time comes, God will send the right person to marry you.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Hebrews 13:4 KJV
2. Not Fighting for a Bright Future Now
Just take your mind back to a few years ago. You were small but here you are today big and tall. Your childhood passed too quickly and you can’t explain how it moved so fast. In the same way, your single life will be a thing of the past very soon. The only thing that will remain is what you made of your life. If you work hard and smart, you will be in a better place in the future. If you waste it, you will be worse than you are now.
Just think about it. You’re probably a little happy and comfortable right now because you still live with your parents or guardians. Or you have a job that barely feeds and clothes you. But will the job cater for your needs in the next five years with the unpredictability of the economy? To be honest, it can’t and you can’t continue waiting for luck or marriage to solve your financial problems.
The best time to kick out laziness and extravagance is now. You don’t have to spend all the money on expensive phones, clothes, and mobile devices. Use what you have to find a profitable side hustle that will make you financially independent even before you meet the right person for marriage. Things have changed, dear single Christian. You don’t want to marry and realize that it’s no longer business as usual. Fight for your future, husband or no husband, wife or no wife.
Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house. – Proverbs 24:27 KJV
3. Neglecting Spiritual Growth and Spiritual Gifts
This is extremely important, and you need to pay attention to it. Don’t just be an usher, a church praise and worship leader, or a member of the choir; be something more. As you focus on church work, draw closer to God as well. You will need God and all He can give, especially during the next phase of your life. So many single Christians discover too late that they don’t know God but were merely following their pastors.
When you’re single, you have enough time to grow spiritually, go deeper in God and learn how He speaks to you (1 Corinthians 7:34 KJV). God can do everything but it’s for those who desire it. You need to have a strong and fervent prayer life now and learn to hear from God. Don’t wait until you reach the crossroads of marriage before you begin to pray. You may get answers from God but your faith will be perforated by doubts and your heart will be a bit shaky because you’re not sure.
Building a strong prayer life is important. Some of the simple steps to take care:
Set aside time for prayers: You may choose morning, afternoon, or evening, depending on what suits you.
Be committed to your prayer schedule: Don’t miss it and if you miss it, confess your failure and move on. Remember,
Pray for at least one hour during your prayer time: A short prayer isn’t bad, but if you want to enter deep into God’s heart, you need to increase your prayer life. It’s the secret to success with God.
Read and study God’s word: Remember, you talk to God through prayers, and God speaks to you mainly through His Word, the Bible.
Meditate on God’s word: If you want to develop your spiritual life, you must think about the verses and chapters of the Bible you read. The word of God is spirit and life and would sink into your inner man only when you meditate on the scriptures.
Practice the Bible: This is the best part of your relationship with God. Learn to act on God’s word. Say what the Bible says you should say. Do what the Bible says you should do. Think what the Bible says you should think.
If you follow these, you will find yourself dipped in God, fully protected, and perfectly energized by the Spirit of Truth. Your spiritual senses will be on the alert 24/7, and you will have no doubt when God shows you His will in marriage.
4. Once You Miss God’s Will, It’s Over for You
Another mistake single Christians make is thinking that when they miss God’s will, it’s over for them. While there’s a seed of truth in this, it is not entirely true. But one thing you have to keep in mind is that it’s not good to miss the WILL OF GOD for you in marriage. Some of the reasons that can make you miss God’s will are:
Pride: When you’re proud of your beauty, height, rich background, or education, you may miss the will of God in marriage. Learn to be humble and pray for God’s grace.
Lack of spirituality: When you’re not close to God, it will be difficult to identify the person God sends to you for marriage. You will reject the brother or sister and won’t even know it was God’s arrangement.
Little or no prayer life: when you pray little or don’t pray at all every day, you will likely miss the will of God in marriage.
When you think you’re not ready but God knows you’re ready: Sometimes, you can get so busy with work, education, taking care of parents or siblings, or looking for money that you don’t know what you need anymore. When God’s will comes, you might see it as a distraction or someone who wants to steal you from your family or take advantage of your hard work or money.
When you don’t like being around Christians: This reason is often hidden in the heart and you may not want to admit it to yourself or to others. Some people don’t like the gentleness, humility, and quietness that Christianity encourages. They want a husband or wife that has both Christian and unchristian behaviors combined. They want a lady that walks seductively or a man who is wild in behavior. This is a strange desire and it’s a dangerous combination that will explode on your face sooner or later.
If you can avoid these wrong attitudes, it will be easy to find the right partner and have a beautiful marriage. Remember, a wedding lasts just one day, but a marriage lasts tens of years. Be spiritual. Be wise. Stay humble before God.
5. Marriage is a Bed of Roses
So many single Christians think that marriage is the best way to escape from their parents. They are tired of doing the laundry, dishes and other multiple house chores. Their prayers are often about how to get out through marriage. One thing you need to keep in mind is that marriage is not a bed of roses. If you run from your parents and guardians just because of house chores, you will still meet the same house chores in marriage. But this time around, you will do it alone with no siblings to help you in any way. You will wake up early to cook, clean, and go off to work. You and your spouse must do that or else the marriage will begin to crack or shake.
God has a reason for putting you under your parents. The chores and responsibilities you are carrying now are preparing you for your future family. You will have a beautiful marriage and home in Jesus’ name. But just don’t think that what you’re going through is a punishment from wicked parents who don’t know that you’ve outgrown house chores. Hey, nobody is above house chores. Thinking that way will make you angry and dissatisfied when you see the same thing in your future marriage. So avoid a lazy attitude towards life.
Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man. – Proverbs 6:10-11 KJV
6. Choosing Someone that Behaves Like You
When it comes to marriage, you should put away your knowledge and experience and depend on God for guidance. Only God knows who has a good heart and who doesn’t. Only God knows who will make you feel complete and who will not. No one else but God knows tomorrow.
The truth is that you cannot approach life the same way you approach entertainment. If you do, half of your life will crumble. This is the reason God often gives you a partner that has what you don’t have. For example, if you don’t laugh all the time, God might give you someone who laughs better than you do to keep the home atmosphere lively and happy. If you’re the type that doesn’t take things seriously, God might send someone who understands how important things are and act accordingly.
So if you still want God to be the one to choose for you, keep your knowledge and experience aside and listen to the voice of His Spirit. Marrying the person who acts and thinks like you might not be a good idea. The results will be that the person won’t see the things you overlook and you won’t remember the things the person forgot. This is why babies drown in swimming pools and none of the parents are aware when the baby crawled out of the room. This is also the reason gas will be leaking and no one notices it until it explodes and destroys property.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”
Learn to allow God to direct your way. You don’t take marriage to heaven. Marriage ends here on earth. But this same marriage can make you miss heaven if you take a careless step.
May the good God guide you in your choice of a partner in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.